Steff's Work 3.. 3's a charm

Yeah!!!! That's all i can say. Things have really picked up and I am absolutely loving it. It really was not at all like I envisioned and there have defiantly been some rocky rocky roads, but damn it has worked out.

My role has been more to unite people, to motivate people and to offer guidance to others doing some awesome things. I have continued to connect people around Mae Sot community and now there is a large push from the large NGOS (IRC, unicef, WE, ZOA, etc) to implement a referral system for child protection situations. Mae Tao Clinic and their clan have also been trying to begin talking about this for months now, but have not been very successful. The larger organization can be more successful most likely and than share this with the rest of the community, where the community can adapt it was needed.

My suggestions have been focused strongly on prevention. Teaching individuals, families, communities about dynamics of child abuse, addiction, stress vulnerability, anger displacement, empowering the people, empowering the communities, helping to build up community awareness of their role in preventing child abuse and how as a community they can support families that are caught in this cycle.

I've been continuing to visit the boarding houses in the area and trying out psychsocial activities with the students to assess their validity and usefulness. Some of the kids really love this noodle song, where you pretend you are a stiff uncooked noodle (representing anxiety) and then jump into a pot of bubbling water and slowly the firmness and (anxiety) melt away until you are a pile of noodles laying on the floor. They really love to lay in a funny pile on the ground and then pretend to eat each other afterwards :)

There was one child at Agape who had been sitting quietly next to another teacher and then got up and ran toward the outside of the compound and appeared to try to climb over the fence. The other children ran after him and hit and yelled at him,dragging him back. Normally I try to stay as uninvolved as possible (I never understand all the dynamics since I can't understand the language), but this was intense and the child was screaming and absolutely terrified. I ran over and picked him up away for mt other kids. They all gestured for me to take him to the house mama. The kid screamed bloody murder and held onto my so tightly I thought he would draw blood. I went to ask the other teacher if she had noticed anything, but she had no clue what was going on. The House mama came over smiling. I did not want to cause tension or insult the hierarchy or the House mama, but i just could not hand over the kid. It felt wrong. We both just smiled and gestured lightly to each other and eventually she went away. The kid relaxed a bit, but was still crying quietly and inconsolable.
The kid could not stop crying completely and was just miserable. He kept uttering Amay (which i figured out to me mom) and pointing outside. He was so obviously stressed and effected by the environment.
I did finally decide to take him outside for a walk and a breather. He lead me across the street through a farm field (where we received very weird stares) to a house on the corner of the pasture. There was a man and woman who did not look happy. I was so nervous I had made a bad decision (whatif the mom was there and was angry that I brought her son to visit, what if these were relatives who had been abusive to him and they would try to keep him..) any way these were not people he knew. His mom was not there. He quieted down and then was willing to go back to Apage and appeared sad, but less tormented about his mom. I spoke with the Boarding house master about his pain and struggles, he understood and had noticed that the boy had been having troubles adapting. I voiced my concern with his intense fear of the House mom and that perhaps people could interact with him differently, while also stating my apologizes for overstepping my place. I don't have reasons to believe they abuse him, but I know that a child who does not adapt quickly or easily and one who cries is not treated in my opinion on the best way. Culturally if a child laughs or is angry you laugh at him because "he is so cute." Or if he cries you gently slap him because crying is bad. The happy part of the story is no this little boy who used to cry often is not crying anymore. He is happy and has been able to adjust mostly to life at Agape.

There are two kids at SAW who lost their parents and when they first arrived could not be next to anyone else but each other. They have over the last couple weeks been able to relax a bit more and build some relationships. The little boy especially clings to me. At this boarding house Sigmond and another male staff run the boardinghouse while some adolescent boys and girls help to watch the kids. All the kids, adolescent girls, young girls and boys look to me as a mother figure. I get adolescent girls who plop down on my lap looking for a hug. I've been trying to do some relaxation stuff with the kids because they are having a lot of nightmares at night. This is a pretty new boarding house (little over a month old, so most of the children are new orphans, or boarders).

Unicef, WE has Incorporated the behavioral management ideas as alternatives to corporal punishment into their curriculum and I will help present that one last time at a training for the largest migrant school here in Mae Sot right before we leave.

I'm also trying to incorporate a compassion fatigue assessment and ways to prevent it as my final goodbye. (so many staff overwork themselves and really don't take enough time for themselves).

I went to the Thai street kid lunch spot behind the Burmese day market the other day. It is a Christian organization that supports a woman who feeds the street kids and families lunch everyday. The kids hang out with staff and socialize. They hung all over us and I just felt like I wanted to bring them home and have them take a bath and get clean clothes. I've been running into this girl named Salema a often around town and was really struggling with what to do for her. She had a little brother she sometimes carried around. I had given her some spare clothing and had had her sit down to lunch and dinner with me a few times to chat. (once a Thai woman had been so mean to her and I had seen her move around the corner from me and begin to cry silently). I made her sit with me and socialize as if she was not a bugger, but a friend. Anyway I've had the privilege to consult with a guy working with that organization and also with a drop in center for street kids and families and to brainstorm how to improve their situations for the long term and what to do in the short term.

I am about half way done with my activity packet and have numerous agencies that would like copies to share with their staff to make sure to incorporate psychsocial ideas into their work with the migrant kids. It is a beginning.

At one point I even helped Mae Sot social worker who was going to online school in Australia one weekend. She had gotten her paper back and needed to make revisions on editing. We spent a lot of time other. it was interesting she told me more about the bribes and dynamics behind the papers people get here in Thailand. She also discussed sexual identify issues and how in a collective society like hers it was difficult to have friends who opening showed their sexual preference (by wearing tshirts and pants --- I wonder what they think of all the westerners around here) and how she likes them as people but then she gets teased and ridiculed. She processed about if she felt strong enough to remain friends with these girls. She also has not gotten married and faces a lot of pressure from others around this. A lot of times it is difficult to discuss this stuff with their friends here.

My high school students who translate for me have some romeo and Juliet drama happening. They are at a cross roads in their lives. They have both graduated and are extremely intelligent people. The adults in their lives are looking for them to take action to move forward. The girl has an opportunity to move to Bangkok and work for a woman's organization. The boy has all these opportunities but wants to be an artist (Leslie we bought you one of his artworks for your cabin!) However, they are both madly in Love with each other. They are only allowed to see each other very rarely, so when they come with me to translate I guess they have been lying to the girls mother and saying it is only she who comes. Yikes. anyway. I just find them both endearing and I hope they end up doing all of it! :)

A doctoral psychology student (a previous lawyer) came to Mae Sot and is interested in doing a research paper on the gaps of service for the migrant community. A lot of the suggestions focused around mental health. She was really interesting and also offered to mentor Ben during his law school days.

I've just been doing a lot of this. Connecting people with each other, helping to point out needs, areas to connect and to work together, building relationships and sharing these with others. Lots of social work stuff.

I feel like I have learned so much here. So much about community organizing, trauma: trust/ distrust exclusive/ isolating societies, conflict community, politics, change, just how important a unified community is, and a lot about myself.

I'll be able to leave Mae Sot feeling good and that I contributed to the welfare of the migrant population.